And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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