Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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