we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
