At least make sure they are 18
Why
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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