Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
