dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
