Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
