I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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