Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
