No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
