Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize