as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
