Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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