My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize