Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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