I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize