u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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