I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
