you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Acid is not a monday night drug
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
