FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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