Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Less talking, more tequila
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
