hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
you inspire me to be a worse person
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
