This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
