If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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