I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
