I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
