...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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