I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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