Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
