You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
