As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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