i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
