I'd wear matching sweaters with you
After last night, I could never be a politician.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize