i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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