I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
