His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
