quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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