In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't deserve a penis
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
