while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize