could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
