can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
