No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
