im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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