shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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