I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
