bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
where am i from again
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize