These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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