it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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