I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just invented taco cereal.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize