what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
