I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
