I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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