Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
