i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
