So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
