I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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