So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
