And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
