Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
