Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
