Sponge bath it is.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
