remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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