She told me I should be a condom model.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
