so that wasnt chicken after all
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
