Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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