i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
