you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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