how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
