Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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