i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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