Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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