i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
