He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
