Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
