i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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