he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
