i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize