Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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